Guidelines for the Host or Hostess

Gracious Hosting

Fortified by the precious gifts of harmony, humility, respect and creativity, the hostess turns her thoughts to afternoon tea. A tea party has an organic structure that will guide her as she begins the planning process. This is the same familiar structure that underlies a dinner party, a holiday gathering or a religious service. All of these events are comprised of four elements:     

Gathering and Greeting
Sharing Stories
Sharing Food
Sending the Guests Home

A spark of inspiration has been kindled, and the hostess begins to visualize the tea party she wants to host. Does she want to celebrate the beauty of spring after a long winter? Does she want to organize a birthday tea in honor of her best friend? Does she want to affirm tradition by creating a classic British afternoon tea party?  Once she has discerned her   purpose, she will choose her guests. Who would enjoy the event she is planning? Should she invite friends who all know each other, or is there a special person who does not know the others but would enjoy their company? Would the hostess like to include people of various ages from children to elders? Will this be a ladies’ tea, or will gentlemen be invited as well?

Next, she will think about how many guests to invite. The ideal number of guests for a traditional British tea party in one’s living room would be from one to eight. However, if the hostess is brave enough to orchestrate a wedding reception tea for dozens or even hundreds of guests in a large hall or park, she will face the additional tasks of sending out formal invitations and making assigned seating arrangements. The latter requires great sensitivity on the hostess’ part.

The hostess at a large tea party gathering will want to provide the opportunity for people to make new friends. On the other hand, she does not want to seat an individual or a couple with eight other people who have been playing golf together twice a week for the past twenty years and don’t know how to talk about anything else. (Note to golfers: It is insensitive and impolite to discuss your golf game at any non-golf related social gathering.)

The hostess will have to use her intuition, along with her knowledge of her guests’ personalities and interests, to create a harmonious seating arrangement. The worst thing she could do when planning a large gathering, is to provide no seating assignments at all. This would be inviting chaos, and chaos is the opposite of afternoon tea.

 
 
Rose wrote this poem to express her appreciation for the almost lost art of decorum. If you are not familiar with this word, look it up in a dictionary. Rose and Kathleen believe that decorum can come to life in the most ordinary situations, such as afternoon tea.

Decorum

The table is laid with Battenberg lace
And the china is swirled with ethereal birds
In ivy that circles and returns.
Beside each cup, a silver tea strainer
Rests on a silver stand.
The accouterments glisten and glow
Like mist on roses--
Marmalade murmuring with amber light
Deep ruby preserves
Honey in milk glass
And Devonshire cream, reclining
Like a cloud in crystal.
The scones, buttoned up with currants,
And the fragrant ginger cake
Rest decoratively as lovely old ladies
On white doilies.
The strong dark tea slithers
Through a swan-like spout,
Scenting the afternoon with bergamot.
A spoon tinkles like vesper chimes.
And for moments on end
Mayhem is held at bay.

For a large event, the invitations should be mailed at least a month beforehand. For a small gathering, two weeks should be enough time. However, the location and culture in which the hostess lives will influence her guests’ perception of time. Busy, over-scheduled urbanites might need their invitations more than a month in advance. It is also a nice touch to go to the Post Office and purchase some special stamps for the invitations, such as roses for a wedding tea.

For large groups, printed invitations will be necessary. If the hostess has the ability to print invitations on her home computer, she could do so, but we emphasize again that all printed invitations should be tasteful and appropriate for the tea’s theme. The best invitation, other than a personal face-to-face invitation, is hand written. The hostess should choose elegant and tasteful stationary and include the date, time, location and a hint as to the tea party’s purpose or theme. Here is a sample:

You are invited to an afternoon tea to celebrate
 St. Patrick’s Day On Sunday, March 17,
From one to four PM
At the home of Kathleen Pedulla (include address)
RSVP: (include telephone number)

For a large event, the invitations should be mailed at least a month beforehand. For a small gathering, two weeks should be enough time. However, the location and culture in which the hostess lives will influence her guests’ perception of time. Busy, over-scheduled urbanites might need their invitations more than a month in advance. It is also a nice touch to go to the Post Office and purchase some special stamps for the invitations, such as roses for a wedding tea.

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THE TEA BOOK
The Road Back to Civilization
A Brief History of Tea
  Philosophy of Tea
     Harmony
     Humility
     Respect
     Creativity

Guidelines for the Host/Hostess

  Gathering and Greeting
  Sharing Stories
  Sharing Food
  Sending the Guests Home

Guidelines for the Guest

  Respect your Hostess/Host
  Bring a Gift if You Wish
  Practice Humility
  Monitor Your Conversation
  Arrive With a Grateful Attitude
  Help if Help is Needed
  Do Not Criticize
  Leave Gracefully
  Send a Thank you Note

A Checklist for Planning a Tea Party
Teas of the World and How to Make Tea

  A Sampling of Teas
  Herbal Teas and Tisanes
  How to Make Tea
  Making Iced Tea
  Tea Concentrate
  Brewing Tea for a Crowd

Tea Utensils and Accessories

  Tea Kettle
  Tea Pot
  Tea Cozy
  Teacups
  Plates
  Silverware
  Teacart
  Tea Strainer
  Tea Infuser
  Three-Tiered Server
  Cream Pitcher and Sugar   Bowl
  Cake Pedestal
  Trifle Bowl
  Jam Pots
  Serving Dishes, Platters, and Trays
  Silver Tea Set or Silver Tray
  Linens
  Kitchen Equipment for Food Preparation

Tea Menu Basics

  Sandwiches and Savories
  Savory Spreads and Dips
  Scones and Tea Breads

About Lemons

  Afternoon Tea and the Four Seasons

     A Spring Tea
     An Outdoor Summer Tea
     A Winter Afternoon Tea
     An Autumn Afternoon Tea

A Calendar of Tea Parties

  January:A Japanese New Year’s Tea
  February:Valentine’s Day Tea
  March:A St. Patrick’s Day Irish Tea
  April:An Easter Tea
May:Mother’s day Tea
  June:A Wedding Reception Tea

Lemon Yogurt Wedding Cake

  July:A Picnic Tea
  AUGUST:A FAMILY REUNION TEA

A North American Family Reunion Tea
  An Eastern Mediterranean Family Reunion Tea
  A Kosher Family Reunion Tea
  A Scandinavian Family Reunion Tea

  September:An Ozark Farm Harvest Tea
  October:A Tea to Honor   Our Ancestors(Dia de los Muertos)
  November:A Post Thanksgiving Tea
  December: A Christmas Tea

  In Defense of Fruitcake:Fruitcakes and Candied Fruit

A World of Tea Parties

  A Chinese Dim Sum Tea
  A Portuguese Tea
  A Classic British Afternoon Tea
  An Indian Chai Party
  A California Tea
  A Hawaiian Tea
  An Italian Tea
  An American Southern Tea
  A Russian Tea
A French Afternoon Tea
  A Kosher Teawith  Traditional Jewish Foods

Afternoon Tea for Special Occasions

An Afternoon Tea for Children
  A Tea for Our Elders
  A Honey Bee Tea in the Garden
  An Urban Tea on the Go
  Tea for One
  Afternoon Tea For a Large Group
  A Vegan Tea
  A Rose Tea